Co-parenting is a process where two parents work together to raise a child after they no longer live together. Research has shown that supportive parenting contributes to healthy adjustment and development of your child.
Many children will have vivid memories of this pandemic, and it is important to have them know and remember that both parents put their own needs aside and worked as a team to keep them safe.
Co-parenting can be challenging at the best of times, but certainly made more complex by the COVID-19 health crisis. Here are some tips adapted from the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, Ontario Chapter to help support you on your co-parenting journey through this uncertain and complex time.
Tips for Co-Parenting During COVID-19
1. BE HEALTHY.
Model good behaviour for your children. Wash your hands, wipe down surfaces and maintain social distancing. This also means be informed and refer only to reliable information sources. In particular, ensure that you follow health expert’s protocols on social distancing.
2. BE MINDFUL.
Maintain calm and share your belief that everything is going to go back to normal in time. As much as possible, try to avoid making comments about your own fears, the scope of the pandemic, or major developments in the spread of the virus in front of your children. Keep them away from news and radio media coverage. Do encourage your children to ask questions and express their concerns. Answer them truthfully at a level that is age-appropriate.
3. BE COMPLIANT.
It is important to comply with court orders and custody agreements. A custody agreement or court order exists to prevent endless haggling over timesharing. In some jurisdictions there are standing orders mandating that if schools are closed, custody agreements should remain in force as though school were still in session. Be sure to get legal advice about what action to take in your specific case.
4. BE CREATIVE.
Obviously, plans for entertainment and socializing will have to change. Maintain closeness with the parent who is not going to see the child through shared books, movies, games and video calls. If possible, also include grandparents and extended family in these calls. Virtual community is excellent!
5. BE TRANSPARENT.
Be honest with your co-parent about any suspected or confirmed exposure to the virus, and try to agree on what steps each of you will take to protect the child from exposure.
6. BE GENEROUS.
After the pandemic, if one parent was unable to access their child due to self-isolation, the other parent could provide makeup access time. Family law judges expect reasonable accommodations when they can be made and will take seriously concerns raised in later filings about parents who are inflexible in this highly unusual circumstance.
7. BE UNDERSTANDING.
COVID-19 is leading to unexpected circumstances for many people, including lost earnings and schedule changes. This may affect visitation schedules (physical and virtual) and child support payments, If possible, the parent who pays child support should try to provide something, even if it can’t be the full amount. The parent who is receiving payments should try to be understanding under these difficult circumstances.
If you are experiencing difficulties as a result of the COVID-19 health crisis, we are here to help. Please reach out to us to schedule a virtual consultation.
